woohoo grades are alright

WARNING: long post ahead!

finally got started on my next assignment properly. don't seem too tough on the surface. that's the worrying part.

on the same subject, i had lab (of which is the only lesson for tuesdays now) in the afternoon and got back my paper for the previous assignment! wow amazingly i got 1.8 upon 2.5.... uh yes they decided to count it in miniscule unworthy decimal pointed marks. i had zero for the last question. why? because i didn't follow the instructions and supposedly left out a portion which leads to ZERO. -sigh- and i went through the assignment question paper again. and i showed it to the lecturer aka lab tutor. he gave chance of course... because the "instruction" was not specific enough for this question to require such a step (testing after implementation) to be done. because the previous question spelt out testing was required! and this question did not. hmph! so i argued on that point and he relented. well alright he's more of the assistant lecturer so he's easier to talk to. the main lecturer is out of town apparently. so yes instead of 1.8 i got an additional 0.3 marks. miserable amount but hey every drop counts! so this is my sneaky underhanded 2.1 upon 2.5 marks. oh alright this is probably a confession of my dirty deed.

in any case, i hope big time that the test tomorrow will not kill me outright(they usually do it very painfully and slowly so that i can have time to bleed to death). there will be things in the question paper (4 questions only) that will make me very uncomfortable.

on the philosophical side, i've been thinking a lot about life, and interpersonal behaviours lately. does life really equate to the number 42? life seems a constant iterative process. similar to software development life cycles. you have to plan what to do, check with external figures. then when you set out to do what you are doing daily, you will get hiccups along the way. there will be feedback from other people about what you do. they might tell you what you should and shouldn't do. some suggest things you MIGHT (or not) be able to do. and some that you can do but is up to you. you may get this often in a day, sometimes not at all. and at the end of it you come back to yourself before resting and the brain starts taking all of these ideas and mixing it in the big bowl of ideas. everything gets meshed up to produce (hopefully) better results. and the supposedly better results gets tested out the next day. this goes on until the end of the road... so probably yes some goals need to be set in life. goals meant to improve ourselves. to better our personality. but the resultant is the driving force of improving oneself. have you ever written down in black and white what your goal in life is yet? if you can write it down, then you probably can look at it every now and then to realign your current activities to work towards that goal(s). i don't suppose it would hurt to take a short few minutes to just think about it right? what do you wish to achieve in life?

personality is a very individualistic trait of a human being. everyone has a different personality. that is what makes everyone unique. we're not robots for that. i don't think anyone is perfect. it is in my opinion the rule of life that, there has to be a flaw in everyone's character. just like the reason why there are so many systems of governing, that basically boils down to, you can't please everybody. there has to be a fluke somewhere. just like Neo in the Matrix trilogies. he was said to be a fluke in the system of the machines. i digressed. anyway, not everyone can see eye to eye. everyone can be envious of others. even the rich and famous. one might be envious of say, Julia Roberts. she is an actress, she is famous, rich, and ravishing(somehow). that makes people admire the status. but certainly, i dare say she would be envious of other people. who you might wonder? to her, acting is but a career. and it probably has its own ups and downs too. so i don't see why she doesn't envy a carefree ranch owner living in the outskirts of Texas. the list can go on indefinitely. in short, you can disagree with me, but everyone envies everyone else. the saying goes, "the pastures are greener across the river". so can we resolve the situation? there is no maybe. if the situation can be solved (i.e.: achieving the greener pasture for oneself) then one might develop a plan to achieve it. and work towards it until one reaches the greener pasture. the other direction can be, no it cannot be resolved. or, no the person does not wish to achieve the greener pasture. in that case, if nothing is to be solved, there need not be a case for envy. like somebody i knew mentioned from somewhere else, and i quote, "if something can be solved, why worry? if you cannot do anything about solving it, why worry?"

i guess... one of the goals of life should be to keep oneself happy. maybe in achieving a carefree life can that be possible. if happiness is the greener pasture, i guess we can bite into the bitter life to try and wait for the sweet aftertaste of "happiness". once we are done chewing for the most parts.

*happiness is just around the corner. let us all enjoy the process of finding it.*