fortrust

popped by them fortrust education consultancy with karen and finally got to apply for 4 aussie universities for free, ANU, West Aus, Wollongong n UTS. met her guy classmates from SIM @ bugis junction and boy it was a global outing haha... indonesian, viet, taiwanese and singaporean. and as lame as i am somemore! next, off to TM with karen, and her friends Bryan(think ~30s, guy, very mixed, very hairy) and air stewardess traineer deborah(wow!). pleasant, classy, got degree in psych from melb, knows amelia too, sent her home.
nice to meet ya~

options are open

have this idea... what if i blow $200-$300 on flowers daily or alt days to her office. can i date her all over again? isit possible?
 
can't decide as of yet~
aussie uni = further, overseas exposure, foreign ideas
local uni = not so easy to get in, cheaper, family & friends, more enriching stuff to learn
advices...?

drivings spreeeeeee

ok i don't have to brag to anybody. i drove about 93km for slightly over an hour on the highways in the evening today. there was a stretch along the KJE i tink or was it near NUS... anyway that certain stretch, i did almost 200kmh for 10-20secs at a go. so fascinating and exciting isn't it! -sigh- *numbing*

!!!end of the world!!!

devastated... she broke up with me... still friends. heart cold. officially single. next victim pls!
oh before i forget, 2nd May 2001. u'll still be in my heart. _hair stand_ *dead*
 
"i don't love you anymore, at least not as a bf" -cries-

flowers for the lady...

jonathan gave me a morning call at 7.30am. thanks... 10am wake up finally, drove out to drop dad at wong name lee, drove around picking a florist to place order with. fareast flora had their designer on day off =_= luckily goodwood had it. roses (red & champagne) for $100. she liked them fortunately. sent to her office in the afternoon. picked, sent dad home. met terry for lunch in town. still can't shake off weird feeling about meeting. 
 
went home to troubleshoot the wireless usb... grr... shd nv have chged settings to "ad-hoc"... "infrastructure" was correct. should have read the manual in the first place.
 
7pm by the time i started updating stuff...so it was in a way good she didn't agree to a dinner out. managed to clean the virus out n deleted all the damn exe files. downloaded AVG antivirus. not bad for freeware!
 
she got her new mp3 player she bid $390 for online... that's nice. she bothered to have a bit of small talk on sms about it too... :)
 
had a brief icq session with sam... how did she kill him metaphorically? he didn't get to that part when he d/c. sounds like i'm getting territorial, so not mean of me. selfish... can't share... i pretty much made two good people miserable.

virus attacks~~~ :(

pt was circuit trg today, 5 sets. guess i easily vent my frustrations out shouting so loudly like that... friendly sms during lunch time tho... and that was that.
 
more trouble at home! my poor pentium 4 pc got a pe_parite virus... :( trouble cleaning up! reinstalled win2k. big headache. oh boy...

gaming night!

so she went China Black with shan² & felicia. at least she bothered an sms or 2 b4 going in... i went for another round of zero hour with jon gerald n james again... reached home already close to midnight. she didn't replied my msgs offering a ride home around 11. guess the night's still young...

get a life...

kinda confused she wants me to have a life outside her while she wants one for herself. it's suppose 2 b a good thing she dun mind me meeting/befriending otehr girls right? stepping out of my comfort zone is a good thing right? so i duno to feel happy or sad by the fact she wishes me lesser of a clingy person...
 
actually i'm pondering. it's not the fact that it's _Sam_, but rather it's "a male friend of whom she befriended thru me" that she's going out with often that's freaking me out.

daddy's birthday~~

hrmm losing interest haha... shucks i bought the xbox 3days ago! it came with 5 games and +1 controller, for $390! best buy... keke... it seems i wanted to buy it to numb myself perhaps, to keep myself occupied n tinking too much. ironically it was sam tt i'd asked help me buy from e IT Show @ suntec. gawd wad was i tinking buying that piece of toy... somemore after that $200 blades?!
 
okae to the main topic of the day. daddy's bdae, we went a rest. in grand plaza park royal for lunch. the lunch was pretty tasty... tho... =_= they repeatedly asked y amelia dear didn't come along... can't blame her. since i didn't inform her about the event. abit sick of her getting pissed... but my heart aches n depressed. hope i aint gona breakdown soon. no point with tears. no pitys. she just don't wanna see me that often anymore.
 
it's torturious... to act like a FUCKer... friendly understanding caring kind, can't i act like i don't mind? it's painful but she'll kick up a fuss if i kick one up... or her friends are more impt? come to think of it i nv did have a life much since young... my frens got their own frens... o_O
 
happy birthday dad...

new skates!

sam's bdae is 8th aug 82. i did a compat analysis bet them 2... haha... 29/40 compared to 22/40 for me n her... idealpartner.co.uk isit bad? haha oh well these online stuff are never accurate...
 
just feels weird today eh... ok i was with her, but i felt happy AND anxious at the same time... -sigh-
 
i also bought this pair of $200 inline skates. impulse purchase!!! at queensway s.c. skaters world. i guess she dun have a need 2 report 2 me, jus tt i feel it polite if she ack my sms right? or maybe she KO...

wishlist!

hehe just thought of having this bunch of stuff (if i ever have the $$$)

• performance brake calipers (brembo?)
• strut bar (front ones first)
• E68 power intake system
• volt stabiliser + grounding wires (but heard they not very good leh)
• new tyre rims
• LTA approved tinted windows
• cold air intake
• full decals for the car body (my daddy might kill me for this!)

shush and a new gfx card! my tv room pc too laggy for playing generals...

whoah mama, took my car for a spin! 1.5hrs non stop action...

Destination: nowhere, start-home, end-home

got this list of "checkpoints" i made up along the way...

1. home
2. paya lebar
3. PIE
4. upp changi rd east
5. loyang ave
6. changi village
7. SAF Ferry Terminal
8. (airport) west perimeter rd
9. ecp
10. marina south
11. ecp
12. bugis junction
13. national museum
14. orchard road (tanglin)
15. heeren
16. selegie
17. novena
18. upp thomson
19. singapore island country club
20. amk ave 1
21. serangoon central
22. home

wonder how many km was that! i kinda circled the right half of sg!

anyway my mum always knew that if i lost my appetite must be when i'm down/bugged by somethings. wonder how she does it...

word vomit... not a clean sight.

i guess she needed badly to let go... why did i hold her back? selfish? oddly enough, like i have her love but not her person... (or do i have that at all?) reverse of those drama shows on tv... distant...
 
how do i make up for it? can't provide her security... the cineleisure thingy she still brooding over it big time. i was definitely much younger n more ballsless then. why did i rush? probably was better off giving us(her) a month to think it over...

money madness etc etc~

that WKL... borrowed like $1.5k before, apparently he needed more help (another $1.5k) this time to supposedly help another guy he claims to be an unnamed officer in our midst... my hunch is "small boy". to "save my friend's life" was in his sms @#$% at least he didn't "force" me when i made my stand clear...

oh erm duno what she means but amelia said her ex jap classmate guy told her he likes her despite him having a gf... o_O? what gives... *jealous*

anyway she's headed to india next year for a seminar... gonna miss her then~

outbursts onset, she needs time to rethink some stuff... time away from me, her part of the r/s had been dying 1yr+ ago already. my fault i guess... -sigh-